From Kathy & Gary Hilton

HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY FRED!!!

Dear Dear Fred,

How in the world can you be 40???!!! I’m SO glad that you were born and came into our lives. I’m not exactly sure of the day I actually got to meet you back in the fall of 1993. I do know that you met our Greg very shortly after we moved into our house on the now infamous Franwood Drive. I know that you met Greg when he walked down Franwood to join your game of hide and seek. I also know that you welcomed him and became best friends very quickly. I remember so many times you and the rest of the guys were hanging out at our house….causing ruckus, swimming, listening to music, playing video games, skate boarding, laughing, joking around and creating a bond that continues to be a special part of each of our lives. Little did I know at the time how very important you would be to us.

Oh, those days were so fun. You guys playing crazy weird games out front running up and down the street. You’d make the Franwood Riots chasing, tackling, kicking, dog piling, throwing stuff and/or hitting each other, eating junk food, leaving your trash all around. Somehow you all seemed to spend most of your time either down at the corner of Franwood and Alaminos or at our house. When I would volunteer to help in Miss Cash’s 5th grade class, I thought she was a saint because she put up with all of you silly, loud, crazy boys. I loved those days. I got to know you and along the way you became like a third son to me.

I will never forget the day that Franwood Drive became Franwood River!! You guys were outside doing whatever you were up to when the rain got so heavy. I came outside to see the “river”. You, Greg and one other started kicking water at each other, being silly, loud (your usual selves) and then you decided to go swimming in the gutter! It is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

I loved it each year when you and most of your family would come to the door trick or treating yelling “Happy Halloween”. Always a joy to see all of you. As you, Greg and the rest of the gang got older...the Halloween costumes got wilder and crazier. The silly boys had turned into teenagers that traveled for miles getting into mischief and goodness knows what all. I know I’ve heard stories of pumpkins and bridges!! I think that is all I’ll say for now, after all, your kids will read this!

Another highlight with you living just around the corner has to be the Everts Family on their annual Christmas caroling evening walking all around the neighborhood. Always such a joy to open the door and see you, your mom, dad, siblings, nephews, nieces and anyone else who joined in. You all have such great voices and the harmony was incredible. It was such a great part of our December.

Before we knew it...time had marched on and it was the year 2000!! You guys would soon graduate. Oh, the fun…you were involved in just about everything at school...plays, student council, etc. We were so very proud of you at the graduation. Again, the silly, crazy antics continued during and after the ceremony.

The next big event was you leaving on your mission, taking you all the way to England. It was very special to be included in your send off. The time seemed to go by quite slowly on our end. It was so hard for Greg to not be able to see you and talk with you, especially once he finally knew that he was battling cancer. I will never forget how much he worried about how to tell you. He wrote so many versions of that letter and kept editing and changing the words he would use to hopefully not panic you. (Right!...as if that would be possible!) He knew you would want to come home and he wanted you to complete your two years abroad. He didn’t want to be the reason that you might have to start over. After that phone call from you he told me, “See, I was right…Fred wants to come home”. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to be so far away. He was not the best at writing you...actually he was pretty crummy at it. I was so glad when we figured out a way to make sure I was at the hospital and with Greg on a certain day and time when you could call to chat and catch up.

Remember, that first day you came over after getting home. You and Greg had “In and Out” burgers and sat together in our family room for hours. Once you were home, you spent as much time together as possible. Whenever Greg was not at the hospital, you made sure to make the time to get together. You also got yourself enrolled in college and again made time to help us by coming over every morning before going to class at CoC to babysit Rascal (aka Jasper). You’d get up and walk up Franwood so that Gary could leave for work by 4:00am and you stayed with Rascal until 8:00am when the doggie day care place opened. Oh goodness, that first place that was up the dirt road/path...yikes, I’m just shaking my head. Thinking about that time that you had to park the car and walk her up the muddy hill…you were a life safer. We will never ever forget the sacrifice you made to ease our worry about that crazy dog.

I’m not sure how long you and Kirsten dated before we got to meet her. When we did get to meet, we knew that dear sweet Kirsten was the one for you. We were so excited for you both. I felt so honored to help Greg with the best man responsibilities. I certainly did not want him or any of the guys to do some weird gag in your apartment. I had so much fun fixing up your space with some soft romantic touches for your arrival that night. We loved having you and the guys come and get dressed in Greg’s old bedroom. As always, a wonderful tribute to how close you and Greg are. The wedding was beyond beautiful. The love in your and Kirsten eyes truly said it all. It is something I will never forget. Those vows were absolutely the start of your fabulous marriage and amazing family. Watching you become the most loving, caring husband and father is an absolute joy. The love you have for your family shines through each and every time I get to see you all. Your guidance, love and counsel show in every situation, be it playing a game of twister, asking them to wait to talk, holding Macie while enjoying the pool, making sure they clean up any toys they played with.

What fun you, Kirsten and Greg had that day you all went snowboarding. It was a fantastic time when Greg felt healthy and got to do what he loved. I’m sure you have really fond memories of that day and probably some funny stories. Speaking of stories….I am still surprised at the stories that you and Greg delighted in telling me about what you all were really doing back in the day!! Jumping off the roof, over the fence, into the pool!! Of course, having a spy on the roof to watch for my car driving up Bouquet Canyon Road has to be a topper!! The stories of many late nights/early mornings, crazy Halloween antics, hanging out on the corner, hassling the neighbors, etc. etc. all are great stories. I’m sure the list goes on and on. I really hope that you have some more stories that I haven’t heard yet. It’s so strange to me that the things I would have been appalled to know at the time, now bring the sweetest smile to my face or the biggest laugh. I love hearing any and everything about those special days.

I thank you for being so thoughtful and caring. I will never forget you showing up at City of Hope, that July day when Greg had to have another surgery, with a ton of snacks for all of us to have while waiting for word from the surgeons. We all waited for such a long time. We thought we had good news and our miracle guy was going to be okay.

Of course, you were a huge part of Greg and Vanessa’s wedding day. I know he was so proud to have you standing there with him for the most special day of his life. He was so happy. I still marvel at how quickly their wedding was put together and how special it turned out. Kirsten made all of those individual little handouts in such a short time. It made such a difference, giving the feeling of everything being planned to perfection. For that one day we all focused on the love that those two shared and the fact that they would forever be soulmates. That they’d have time to live together in the condo they had found on Plum Canyon. Oh, the hopes and dreams we all had.

Little did we know that Greg’s life would be so short. We thought he had at least 6 months maybe a year. It is still so surreal to think that the next day his body declined so quickly. I cannot ever express my appreciation and how much your presence helped me, both that night and in the all days to come. Your being there with us to hold each other, cry, laugh, tell stories was so very comforting. I know that you felt like you needed to be with all of us. I also know that it felt so right and so very comforting to have you close by. So again, thank you.

I think back to our Celebration of Greg’s Life. One of the most special parts was you and Gary performing those beautiful songs that Greg loved. The two of you practicing separately and together remotely and finally that day before everyone arrived getting to practice while we were setting up the room was absolutely breathtaking. It was the perfect tribute to Greg.

You have been beyond amazing each and every year sending me flowers with the sweetest heartfelt notes on Greg’s birthday. You are the one friend that always remembers and reaches out with love. I feel so honored to be thanked for being Greg’s mom. Although he really was and is such a blessing.

We were so blown away back in July 2018 when we found out you all were going up to Bass Lake for the first time. It was such a terrific idea to celebrate Greg’s Birthday while you were up there at one of his favorite places on earth. Kirsten’s idea and surprise to have some of Greg’s ashes for you to bring him back to the place he so loved was absolutely perfect. Both you and Kirsten made us feel such a part of that celebration. I cried with tears of joy seeing the pictures of all of you with those fantastic posters that Kirsten and the kids made celebrating him.  Realizing that you have not only kept him alive for all of us that knew and loved him but you’ve shared him with your children. The fact that your kids know what he loved and could draw those things on the posters is sooo very touching and heartwarming.

Fred, you are one very special man. You have been there in so many ways that have been such a blessing. First and foremost, you were Greg’s best friend and a true brother from another mother! The bond and friendship that you had was clear, sweet and true. It showed through in good times and hard times. As Greg’s mom I cannot think of a better gift than for my son to have such a strong bond and friendship with such a wonderful boy, teenager and eventually a man. As you have grown into adulthood, it has been my joy and pleasure to see you grow from that sometimes wild and crazy teenager that didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life to become the wonderful, caring man that we are so lucky to have in our lives. We look forward to many more times together creating new memories with our third son (from another mother and father) and your awesome family. Your sense of humor and love of life are so fabulous and life enriching for us all. Now that we are coming out of this crazy pandemic, we plan on getting to be together much more often. Happy Happy 40th Birthday!! May the years ahead be filled with all that you hope and dream for.

We love you,

Kathy and Gary