From Jake Everts

Fred, 

I remember opening up my suitcase when I arrived in Japan and finding your letter sitting there. I can't tell you how many times I read it.  Not because of what you said, so much as the fact that you wrote a note to me that I could always go back and look at, especially when so few people could get what I was going through. So, here's my chance to pay it back to you, albeit under slightly different circumstances given how life has taken us over the last decade. 

First I'll say that it's weird to me that your age will always be frozen at like 23 for me. I don't know why, maybe it's because in my brain I'm still like 15.  That's around the same time you had Ethan if I'm not wrong. And it's also weird to think that in the last decade we have had so many shifts while living far away from each other that we are almost entirely different people than we were when we spent the majority of our time together. So who am I writing this to, new Fred, old Fred, growing up Fred? I'm not really. sure. But I guess there's a few things that are the same. 

I look up to you. It's not a stretch to say, and I think we would both admit that you are highly respected by the family and others. Now, of course, coming with that you have the added pressure of the spotlight and everyone's criticism when you don't match this image people have created in their heads of you. And herein lies the part I look up to the most: it's not that you don't care, you're just too driven by this sense to excel or whatever it is to let their criticism really have any influence on your overall course. I'm sure inward it's not as easy as it looks on the outside, but you make it look like you have this momentum that really just catches people up in it, and I think that's really ultimately what draws people toward you. I'm not jealous of it because you always had more scrutiny than me, and I'm kind of scared of that responsibility, but it's a pretty epic power you have. 

I like you. I know I love you as a brother and all that, but I genuinely get along with you. There's plenty of people around our family that I love, but don't like. Not you. To me, you can say that blood is thicker than water, but ultimately what keeps me close to you and your family is the fact that I like you guys. You are kind and sincere and, most importantly, fun. And without you I think our family would be kind of crap, to be honest. It's not a party unless you're there, and no one ever is like "ugh, Fred is here,". Everyone is always happy to see you. That's such an admirable quality and ok, maybe I'm a little jealous of that one. 

Your support has made the difference to me. Ok, this is going to seem a little weird. In my hardest times, I looked to the family and kind of, jeez, this is embarrassing to say, counted how many people were supportive of me and still really genuinely gave a crap about me. Feeling that you were on my side was a kind of tipping point for me, on the good side. And if I had been on my own, I'm not sure what would have happened. But you and Kirsten, without even having to say anything at all, always made me feel respected and included, even as everything in our lives was up and down and back and forth. So the fact that you're one of the only people that can genuinely transcend and separate any beliefs you hold or held and how you treat people is ultimately your quality that made the most difference to me in my life. 

So here we are at another interesting milestone. I'm excited to see where you take life. I'd say where life takes you, but you're not the kind of person to just go along with it. That's the most fun.  

Oh, another thing, after reading these messages from everyone, don't feel like we were just put up to this by Kirsten. I had half a mind to just type you two pages of Jim Carey quotes, but I feel like it's time I paid you back for that letter that picked me up so many times when you told me to forget myself and think about the people there. 

So here's my advice right back at you: take care of yourself. You care so much about others and your work and all the passions you have. No one doubts that. But don't forget to give yourself a break, too. Because, as the late great Stephen Covey said, "Today seems like a nice day for a bike ride!" But also, "the balance between the golden egg and the health and welfare of the goose is often a difficult judgment call. But I suggest it is the very essence of effectiveness." So I'm basically calling you a goose, is the point. 

Love you brother, 

Jake